Happy Birthday Steve!

Today Steve turns 24, which is totally the official no-longer-early-twenties age (and by official, I mean decreed by me, so that I may mock him for being in his mid-twenties for three months until I cross the threshold). It is also the sixth birthday that I have spent with him. When we first met, we were just able to legally vote. I was going to be a creative writing major and he was going to major in playing baseball and chilling out. I hated athletes (which he is) and he hated snobs (which I am). He had never eaten sushi (or thai food!). I had heard people say things like let’s just go with the flow, but never really understand what they meant or why you would ever want to do that. Steve wore neon green shorts and I wore a lot of broomstick skirts. He was the complete opposite of everything I thought I was attracted to. And yet? I never had more fun than when he was around.

After we started dating, it became clear that Steve was one of the most comfortable people I had ever met. At an age when everyone was insecure and constantly looking around for what was cool and right and acceptable, Steve just did his own thing (this is how I explain the neon green shorts). And by doing his own thing, he gave everyone around him permission to do the same. He traveled easily between cliques, appreciating bits and pieces of everyone and putting people immediately at ease. When he was around, you never had to worry about what he would think. He saw me at my most uncool, my most raw, my goofiest, and he adored me for it. This was unbearably attractive and made me want to be around him all the time.

One of my very favorite things about Steve is his sense of adventure. People often ask me if I’m worried about being “tied down” so young. I understand the question, but it’s almost always asked by people who don’t know Steve well because the idea of him tying anyone down is outrageous. Whenever I come up with my newest harebrained scheme, Steve’s answer is always “Let’s do it!” This is actually his answer to almost every question I ask, from Want to take off and drive to the mountains tonight? to Want to join the Peace Corps? The only things he is actually afraid of are living life at less than full-throttle, getting bored and not being able to ride his bike. He pushes himself constantly – physically, mentally and emotionally – determined to be his best self. This is one of the most important things he has taught me in our relationship, that sometimes I need to let go of the plan or the itinerary or the way I’ve always done things. He challenges me constantly, telling me to shoot higher, that as long as we’re doing it together, what is there to be afraid of?

Since getting engaged, we laugh a lot about our early relationship. About who we were then and how improbable it is that we work as naturally as we do. About how we are so so different from those people, and how we are the same. About how when we met, I could never relax and he couldn’t really communicate. About how far we’ve come, how much we’ve grown and what a marvel it is that at each stage, we give each other space to grow, but somehow always manage to grow closer together.

I could never articulate all of the gifts that Steve has given me by choosing to spend his life with me. It has been so beautiful to watch him discover his talents and come into his own. He has become a true adventurer, an educator, a determined social reformer and the very best partner-in-crime I could ever, ever ask for. And he’s pretty cute to boot!

Happy Birthday Love. Life with you makes me excited to grow old (like you are. because you’re in your mid-twenties now.)